The Bow of the Phoenix
by MouseFlaed
Summary: Hiei is sent on a mission for an ancient artifact, but when he finds it, something very, very strange takes place, and Hiei is not all that happy about it . . . R and R!
1. Prologue: A Mission For Koenma

-Kuwabara is an idiot- means thoughts.  
  
********  
  
Ethelflaed: Guess whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  
  
Mouself: THAT'S WHAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: -.-;;;;; Um . . . no.  
  
Mouself: ^_^ HEEHEEHEEHEE! (hyper)  
  
Ethelflaed: Mouself is hyper. Obviously. Anyway, (big surprise) we're co- writing ANOTHER story!  
  
Mouself: Only this time she's actually doing some of the work and not little ole me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: Mouself, say your prayers. (gets out foil)  
  
Mouself: ^____________^ No. (gets out Super Mega Fencing Foil of Doooom)  
  
Ethelflaed: -.- Mouself, that foil is pink . . .  
  
Mouself: It is? O_O (looks at foil) AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (gets out flame thrower) BURNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: . . .  
  
Mouself: ^_^U  
  
Ethelflaed: Anyway, one short note: THIS STORY HAS NO RELATION WHATSOEVER TO HARRY POTTER! I haven't read that book . . . I don't like Harry Potter all that much . . .  
  
Rabid Harry Potter Fans: YOU DON'T LIKE HARRY POTTER?? DIE!!!!!!! (attack)  
  
Ethelflaed: (grabs Mouself, places Mouself in front of her)  
  
Mouself: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!! It's not pink, but it STILL MUST DIE!!!!!!!! EAT FLAME THROWER!!!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: See, that's the difference between myself and Mouself; I couldn't care less about Harry Potter, and she torches its fans . . .  
  
B/k: HEY!!!!!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: Except B/k, and few others. Just the ones attacking me.  
  
RHPF: (melting)  
  
Mouself: HAR HAR HAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: o.O Um . . . aaaaaanyyyywaaaaaay . . . we don't own Yu Yu Hakusho . . . but we own this idea! Steal it, and face the wrath of a hyper Mouself! And my Death Glare!  
  
Mouself: Tooooooooooooooooooooooooorch . . . . . . . . . (twitch)  
  
Ethelflaed: (eye roll) Let's start the story.  
  
Mouself: (chuckle twitch chuckle twitch)  
  
Ethelflaed: (sweat drop the size of San Francisco)  
  
********  
  
Hiei Jaganshi was bored. Very bored. Overwhelmingly, extremely, majorly, out-of-this-universe-you get it already. Chopping up random annoying demons was fun at first, but it got old, after the first hundred or so. So, as been stated, Hiei was overwhelming, extremely, majorly, out-of-this- universe, superly, hugely, astoundingly-yeah. He was bored.  
  
Even sitting in trees had lost its edge. And the baka wasn't even there to annoy. There wasn't a mission. Nothing he wanted to steal, nowhere to go, no one to kill . . . what was a poor deprived fire demon to do?  
  
It was then that he received an order from Koenma.  
  
It was quite unexpected, especially as it came by messenger pigeon.  
  
-Since when does Koenma use messenger pigeons?- Hiei thought, staring at the bird.  
  
The bird cooed at him.  
  
Hiei rolled his eyes and took the note. It read:  
  
"I know. Since when do I use messenger pigeons?"  
  
Hiei stopped, gave the note a long, suspicious look, then continued:  
  
"Don't look at me like that!"  
  
Hiei almost dropped the note, but regained his normal emotionless composure, and started again:  
  
"Heheheheh, I'm scaring you!"  
  
Hiei rolled his eyes.  
  
"Well, anyway . . . back to the reason I'm using a messenger pigeon."  
  
-About time.-  
  
"Quite. This mission I am giving to you must remain a complete secret. Similar pigeons have also been released to the other three. You probably can understand why I couldn't trust Botan with this."  
  
-Yes, that blabbermouth baka . . .-  
  
"She is, isn't she?"  
  
-HOW DO YOU DO THAT??-  
  
"I am the all mighty Koenma! DO NOT DOUBT MY POWER!"  
  
-Riiiiiiiiiiiiight . . .-  
  
"Humph. Here is your mission, should you choose to accept it, which you will, since there STILL is that incident with the Shadow Sword, the Forlorn Hope, and the Orb of Baast . . ."  
  
-CURSE YOU!-  
  
"Temper, temper!"  
  
Hiei gave the note a death glare. -Wait. I'm glaring at a piece of a paper.-  
  
"I'm annoying you, aren't I? Anyway. We have reports that an artifact has fallen into the wrong hands, and you are to steal it."  
  
-And I suppose Yusuke will be doing the square dance with Puu while I work?-  
  
"Of course not. They have other tasks. The artifact is called 'Fushicho no Yumi', or 'Bow of the Phoenix'. You will find it in the ruins of an ancient temple on the outskirts of the forest you are currently in."  
  
-Two things. How do you know I'm in the forest, and what kind of idiot puts his headquarters in an ancient temple?-  
  
"I am the Mighty Koenma, and the temple happens to contain great power, Mr. Smarty Pants! So get over there and get that bow! And don't forget the arrows, OR mess up! My Dad's still reeeeeeeally mad."  
  
-And I care about your Dad because?-  
  
"Because he could destroy your close family. And you know what THAT means."  
  
-This is blackmail.-  
  
"Of course! Goodbye!  
  
Sincerely,  
  
The Great and Omnipontent Koenma."  
  
-He misspelled omnipotent.-  
  
"P.S. Okay, so it's 'omnipotent.' But I'm writing in pen, for crying out loud!"  
  
Hiei groaned. Well, a mission was a mission. No matter what kind of puffed up idiot it came from.  
  
He set out for the temple.  
  
********  
  
Well, temple ruins was certainly an apt description. Actually, pile of rubble would have been closer. And Hiei went through what could have once been a door . . . or a window . . . or a wall . . . he gave the "building" a nervous look. If this thing collapsed on him, he'd come back from the grave just to haunt Koenma. Heheheheheheheh . . .  
  
He stood there for a second. Okay. He was in the . . . rubble that had once been a temple ruins. Where was he supposed to find the bow? Did Koenma really expect him to dig through the rubble and pray that the whole thing didn't just crash on top of him? What an id-  
  
It was then that he spotted the bow.  
  
Hiei had been staring nervously at the one-time ceiling, now Swiss Cheese. The only good thing about it had been that he had had light. Noticing a dark corner, he went over.  
  
-I wonder-WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!-  
  
(The dark corner turned out to be a staircase that Hiei was currently descending. Fast.)  
  
"OOF! OW! OOF OOF! OOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!! KOENMA!!!! OOF!! OOF!!! I'M-OW-GONNA- OW-KILL YOU!!!!!! OOOOOF!"  
  
Hiei rolled down to the bottom and hit a pillar, quickly ceasing all movement.  
  
"Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow . . . my heeeeeeeeeeeeead . . ."  
  
He got up, and saw the Fushicho no Yumi, conveniently resting on the pillar he'd just met.  
  
It was a long, slim bow, made of silver, with a quiver of arrows fletched with what Hiei assumed were phoenix feathers resting beside it. And . . . it was . . . glowing?  
  
Hiei gave it a suspicious look, then reached his hand out. It made no sense that this would have no gua-  
  
There was a flash of blinding light, and silence.  
  
********  
  
Ethelflaed: Cliffie . . .  
  
Mouself: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: I loooooooove cliffies . . .  
  
Mouself: I like cliffs! (tosses Karasu off cliff) ^_^  
  
Karasu: O__O Mommy?  
  
Ethelflaed: ^_________________________^ DIE, KARASU!!!!  
  
Kurama: Yes! DIE!  
  
Karasu: (falling) I liiiiiiiike yoooooooooooooooooooooou Kuraaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaa . . .  
  
Kurama: AUGH! (hides behind Hiei)  
  
Hiei: (looks at Kurama with vaguely amused expression)  
  
Mouself: ^______________^ Hiei-chan!  
  
Hiei: (Glare of Eminent Doom)  
  
Mouself: ^_^U  
  
Ethelflaed: =^.^= KURAMA!!!!!!  
  
Kurama: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
  
Ethelflaed: Mrow! (chases him)  
  
Kurama: (running) Well, she's better than Karasu.  
  
Ethelflaed: MEOW!  
  
{At Bottom of Cliff}  
  
Karasu: Hello, rabid wolf beasts! I like you . . .  
  
Rabid Wolf Beast: ?????  
  
Karasu: And when I like something . . .  
  
Rabid Wolf Beast: O__O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs)  
  
{Back with Authors}  
  
Ethelflaed: (chasing Kurama) COOOOOOOOOME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!  
  
Kurama: (hiding in tree) NEVER!!!!!  
  
Hiei: Hey. MY tree.  
  
Kurama: (points at "meow"-ing Ethelflaed)  
  
Hiei: Okay, I'll make an exception.  
  
Ethelflaed: MWROW!!!!! (runs past tree)  
  
Kurama and Hiei: (sigh)  
  
Mouself: HI!!!!!!!!!!!! (sticks head out of branches)  
  
Hiei: You're upside down. How are you doing that?  
  
Mouself: (blink blink) Haven't a clue. (falls)  
  
Hiei: Heh.  
  
Kurama: -.-;;;;  
  
Ethelflaed: MWROW!!!!!!!! (sitting at bottom of tree) KURAMA-KUN!!!!  
  
Kurama: O__O  
  
Mouself: HIEI-KUN!!!!!!!! MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Hiei: O__O  
  
Kurama and Hiei: O___O  
  
Ethelflaed: (climbs tree) MEEEEEEEEEEEOW!  
  
Kurama: SAYONARA! (randomly grows wings and takes off)  
  
Hiei: Hn????  
  
Ethelflaed: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (grabs pogo stick and chases after him)  
  
Mouself: V.V Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey . . . that was MY pogo stick . . .  
  
Hiei: Hn. 


	2. Tap, Tap, Tap

Ethelflaed: (grinning evilly)  
  
Karasu: (covered in paper machè and hanging upside-down by feet)  
  
Mouself: Hey kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiids! It's piñata time!  
  
Karasu: !!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: (gives bunch of little kids metal baseball bats) First one to break it gets a biiiiiiig surprise!  
  
Karasu: O__O  
  
Kids: Yay! (whack whack whack)  
  
Karasu: @_@  
  
Zeionia: NOOOOOOOO! KARASU!!!!!!!! (chases Ethelflaed with baseball bat)  
  
Karasu: (thinking: Save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)  
  
Ethelflaed: (running) (sees Kurama) KURAMA! (hides behind him) MWROW!  
  
Kurama: -.-;;;  
  
Zeionia: (runs by, waving bat)  
  
Kurama: (gives her disturbed look)  
  
Ethelflaed: =^.^= Meow!  
  
Kurama: NOT THE CAT AGAIN!  
  
Ethelflaed: (purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) (rubs self against Kurama cat-style)  
  
Kurama: o.O  
  
Mouself: ^_^ Now wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Hiei! (searches)  
  
Hiei: (still in tree) -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Pathetic.  
  
Mouself: HIMOO! (appears behind him)  
  
Hiei: Dah! (falls out of tree)  
  
Mouself: ^_^U  
  
Ethelflaed: Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeow? (looks at Kurama with kitten eyes)  
  
Kurama: (eye roll) Ethelflaed and Mouself do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. THANK YOU!!!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: MWROW! (rub)  
  
Kurama: -.-;;;;;  
  
Mouself: (hugging Hiei) Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabbaaaffeeeet . . . .  
  
Wobbuffet [don't own it]: (randomly appears) Wobbuffet! Waaaba!  
  
Hiei: O__O  
  
Ethelflaed: (turns into Ninetails) YIP!!!!!  
  
Kurama: -.-;;;;;  
  
********  
  
Someone sat at a computer, nodding, then pressed a key.  
  
"Good. Hiei has taken the bait, and he ought to be feeling a little . . . different now."  
  
There was a long, slow, chuckle.  
  
********  
  
{In Kurama's dreams}  
  
Kurama was trapped inside a giant metal egg. To be more precise, he was standing on a ledge midway down the egg, looking down at the murky water that filled the other half.  
  
And then-  
  
Tap, tap, tap. . . .  
  
"What??"  
  
Tap, tap, taptaptap. . . .  
  
"What is it?"  
  
********  
  
Hiei stood in front of the house, and tossed yet another pebble at Kurama's window.  
  
********  
  
Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap . . .  
  
"AAAAAAAARGH!" yelled Kurama. "WHAT ARE YOU?? LET ME SEE YOUR FACE!!!!"  
  
Tap. Taptap. Tappity tap.  
  
********  
  
Hiei was getting impatient. WHAT WAS GOING ON UP THERE??  
  
Angry, he picked up a whole handful of pebbles and threw them.  
  
********  
  
The water moved, and Hiei came out, with . . . A MACHINE GUN??  
  
"ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Hiei, and loosed the weapon on Kurama.  
  
Kurama jolted awake.  
  
"What a strange dr-"  
  
TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!  
  
Kurama went over to the window, opened it, and was greeted by about eight pebbles flying at his face.  
  
"AAAAAAAAH!" he yelped, and ducked. Then he raised his head. "HIEI! It's three in the morning! What ARE you doing?"  
  
"Trying to wake you up?"  
  
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeease. If that was all, I'm going back to sleep."  
  
SLAM!  
  
Hiei stared up at the now-closed window. "KURAMA!" he yelled, attempting to climb a post on the porch.  
  
Kurama stuck his head out again. "What-Hiei??"  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" said Hiei, falling off the post and onto a rosebush.  
  
"MY ROSEBUSH!!!"  
  
"Oooooooooooooooow . . ."  
  
"Hiei, why did you just try to climb my porch?"  
  
"Ooooooooooooooooow . . ."  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
"Ooooooooooooooooow . . ."  
  
Kurama sighed and went downstairs, and outside.  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
Hiei was trying to get out of the rosebush. Unsuccessfully, so far.  
  
Kurama sweatdropped. "Hiei . . . just roll out of the bush."  
  
THUD!  
  
"Ooooooooooooooow . . . This is NOT my day."  
  
"How do you know? THERE'S ONLY BEEN THREE HOURS OF IT, AND I WANTED TO SPEND THEM SLEEPING!!!!"  
  
Hiei allowed himself to be led into the kitchen. "I'm hungry."  
  
Kurama almost dropped his guest. "You. Woke. Me. Up. At. Three. In. The. Morning. Because. You. Were. HUNGRY????"  
  
"No, you fool."  
  
"Now I'm a FOOL, huh? Hiei, I swear, I ought to chuck you into my demon- eating plants."  
  
"Wouldn't do much good," said Hiei, rifling through Kurama's fridge. "Mmmmmmm . . . chocolate miiilk . . ."  
  
"NO."  
  
"Drat," said Hiei, pulling out several large packages. "Anyway-Kurama, what is this?"  
  
"Sushi."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Fish."  
  
"How long did you cook this?"  
  
"It's raw . . ."  
  
"WHAT???"  
  
"I LIKE it."  
  
"You're disgusting."  
  
"Well, have this-it's COOKED-and tell me why you saw fit to wake me up at THREE AM."  
  
"Getting to that. Yum . . ."  
  
"HIEI!!!!!!!!! STOP STUFFING YOUR FACE WITH RICE AND TELL ME WHY YOU WOKE ME UP!!!!"  
  
"Ssssh. You'll wake up your mother."  
  
Kurama briefly considered putting poison in Hiei's food. Too kind . . .  
  
{Five riceballs later}  
  
"Your mother is a good cook."  
  
"I. Know. That. Just. Spit. It. Out. Already!"  
  
"Inhospitable tonight, aren't we? Well, anyway, I got a letter from Koenma."  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaand?"  
  
"Getting to that. I had to go fetch some random artifact that Koenma had lost (like the fool he is). And . . . OOOOOOH! CAKE!"  
  
"NO."  
  
"Grmgrmgrmgrm . . . I went to go get it in a 'temple ruins'. It was a ruins OF a ruins of a ruins! I don't why the whole thing didn't fall on me . . . stupid Koenma."  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaand?"  
  
"Well, I wandered a bit and fell down some stairs . . ."  
  
Kurama raised an eyebrow.  
  
"And after I fell down said stairs, I found the what's-a-macallit Koenma was asking for."  
  
"Can I see it?"  
  
"I don't HAVE it. I reached out for it, and when I touched it, it felt like I got hit by Toguro in the stomach or something. And when I woke up, I was like THIS!!!"  
  
Kurama blinked. "What happened to you?"  
  
"I'm a human, Kurama."  
  
"Oh-WHAT??"  
  
********  
  
Ethelflaed: CLIFFIE!!!!!!!! MWROW!!!!!!!!!!! (rub)  
  
Kurama: (leaves)  
  
Ethelflaed: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (breaks sound barrier)  
  
Hiei: MY EARS!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mouself: (angry eyes) YOU HURT HIEI'S EARS, FLAED!!!! (evil eyes)  
  
Ethelflaed: (eye roll)  
  
{Meanwhile}  
  
Kids: (WHAM! SMASH! WHACK!)  
  
Karasu: x_X  
  
{Back in Ficcy-land}  
  
Hiei: I can't beLIEVE you turned me into . . . a . . . HUMAN!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: Think of it this way: You COULD be a mouse!  
  
Mouself: AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING A MOUSE, MIGHT I INQUIRE?!?!?!?!  
  
Ethelflaed: . . . For one thing, you get eaten a lot . . .  
  
Mouself: SO!?!?!?!?!!?!?!  
  
Ethelflaed: . . .  
  
Mouself: I SHALL SLAY THEM WITH MY FENCING FOIL!!!!!  
  
Ethelflaed: "Rubber tip" ring a bell? (points at own fencing foil)  
  
Mouself: Hm . . . . . . . . . ELECTRIC FOIL! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Ethelflaed: -.-;;;;;;;;; Replies . . .  
  
Mouself: Yaymoo!  
  
B/k: Um . . . I really have no earthly idea where you went . . . you just kinda . . . poofed . . . I know! A giant void of nothingness carried you off to . . . somewhere! And um . . . nobody noticed! ^_^U (Ethelflaed: How does someone not notice a giant void of nothingness?) It's nothingness! Therefore it's . . . nothing! ^_^U (Ethelflaed: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. -.- ;;;;;;;;;;) (Ethelflaed: About da "chan" thingy . . . We were told it meant dearly beloved friend . . . not dearly beloved friend who is a girl. Also, chan can be used [I think] as a word meaning deep affection for a boy. A.k.a. Hiei.)  
  
11: Okies! ^_^  
  
crazy buttafly: Thank moo! ^________^  
  
Katfire Assasin: Yay! Bloodthirsty muses! Wish I had bloodthirsty muses . . . V.V  
  
Fairytale: More, more, more, MORE! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kittengrl39: Tankies! ^_^U  
  
Saelbu: MOO! ^________________________^  
  
Mouself: I did all the reviews! Yay! ^_________________________________^ I'm happy . . . 


	3. I Can't Sleep and the Dark Side of Kuram...

Mouself: Hiya! I'm opening! I feel speeeeeeeeeeeeeecial! ^_____________^ (is ecstatic) 

Ethelflaed: Now we've lost her.

Mouself: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess . . .

Ethelflaed: -.-;;;;;;

Mouself: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese . . . . . .

Ethelflaed: Guess what we're playing THIS chapter, kids!

Kids: WHAT?

Ethelflaed: Chase-The-Evil-Troll-With-An-Axe!

Dr. Ichigaki: (gagged) !!!!!!!!!!! (thinking: You cannot stop the progress of science this way!)

Mouself: (telepathically) Oh yes we can!

Dr. Ichigaki: O__O ????????

Mouself: I'm like Hiei's letter! ^_^

Ethelflaed:  . . .

Kid #1: Um . . . isn't it wrong to chase people with axes?

Ethelflaed: It's a robot!

Dr. Ichigaki: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kid #1: ^_____________________________^ FUN!!!

Ethelflaed: We even programmed it to look like a real troll being killed! You won't be able to tell the difference!

Kids: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! (grab axes and chase Dr. Ichigaki)

Dr. Ichigaki: (thinking: CURSES!)

Mouself: (snicker snicker)

Hiei: What are you snickering about?

Mouself: (snicker snicker snicker)

Hiei: Hn.

Ethelflaed: (sees Kurama) MWROW!!!!! (chases him with butterfly net)

Kurama: I AM NOT A BUTTERFLY!!!!!

Ethelflaed: Okay! (gets fox net) Mwrooooooooooooooooooooow!

Kurama: (grumble grumble) (run)

Ethelflaed: YAY!!!!!!!!! (chase)

Mouself: (snicker snicker snicker snicker)

Hiei: STOP SNICKERING!

Mouself: (snicker glomp)

Hiei: @__@

Kurama: (running) (looks down)

Air: (beneath Kurama)

Ground: (faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar, faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar, beneath Kurama)

Behind Him: (cliff he just ran over)

Kurama: O__O

Ethelflaed: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! (jumps over cliff)

Mouself: We (hug) don't (hug) own (hug) Yu Yu Hakusho! (hug hug) Or (hug) my precious (huuuuuuuuuug) Hiei-kun!

Hiei: @______@ (choking)

********

Kurama gave Hiei a long look.

"Okay. Say that again. Slowly."

"I . . . was . . . turned . . . into . . . a . . . hu . . . man."

"You."

"Yes."

"You."

"Yes."

"YOU."

"YES!"

"You."

"YES! ME! GET THAT ALREADY! ME! HIEI!"

"You."

Hiei face-faulted, then went back to eating. "Mmmmmmmmm . . . Look! I don't even have the Jagan any more!" As if to prove his point, he pulled off his headband. Sure enough, no trace of the Jagan eye could be found on Hiei's forehead.

Kurama seemed to come out of the daze. "I can't believe this."

Hiei looked up from his fifth bowl of rice. "You know, getting turned into a human makes you HUNGRY."

"What turned you into a human?"

"I don't know . . . it's in the note . . . YOU should know . . . Koenma will die."

"But . . . Hiei . . . I never GOT a note."

Hiei choked on a lump of rice. "W-w-WHAT?"

"And Koenma doesn't LIKE pigeons."

"You're right."

{Flashback}

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Koenma. "GET OFF MY SQUID, YOU FIENDISH BIRDS!!!!"

The pigeons continued pecking away, with the occasional "coo".

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" cried Koenma. "IAMTHEALMIGHTYKOENMA! DO NOT DISOBEY MY ORDERS!"

The pigeons took off with the squid in tow.

"SWINE ON WINGS! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE!"

Everyone sweat dropped.

{End Flashback}

"Then . . . who sent it?"

Kurama stared at the note, then went and lit a candle, holding the sheet of paper just above the flame.

Letters appeared. Slowly they made out—

HA HA FOOLISH MORTAL.

"I always thought that letter was evil."

"Please, Hiei, a letter can't be evil."

OH YES I CAN.

"GAH!"

"I told you! SEE! I TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU I TOLD YOU!"

Kurama led Hiei upstairs. "Well, let's see. I'll research this, and in the meantime, you'll have to stay here. Any bright ideas on how to convince Mother?"

Hiei stared blankly.

"Greeeeeeeeeeat . . ."

*********

After forging a letter entrusting Hiei to Mrs. Minamino's care for a while, the two prepared to sleep. Kurama dragged an air bed out and started to fill it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!" Hiei yelped.

"SSSSSSH! It isn't alive; it's just being filled with air."

"Oh. I knew that!"

"Suuuuuuuuuuure."

Hiei sat on it. "Kurama . . . it's too soft . . ."

Kurama pumped it up some more.

"Now it's too hard."

Release.

"Too soft."

Pump.

"Too hard."

Release.

"Too soft."

Pump.

"Too hard."

Release.

"Too soft."

Pump.

"Too hard."

Release.

"Too soft."

Pump.

"Too hard."

"WOULD YOU RATHER SLEEP ON THE FLOOR?"

"It's fine."

"Good," snapped Kurama, climbing into his own bed. He lay beneath the fox-printed sheets, getting sleepier, and sleepier, and sleepier, and—

"Kurama, I can't go to sleep."

Greeeeeeeeeeeeat.

"Count sheep."

"What are sheep?"

"You don't know what sheep are?"

"No . . ."

"Count katanas, then."

There was a moment of silence. Kurama slipped into a light slumber—

"I miss my katana, Kurama. Did I ever tell you I named it? I named it Head Chopper . . ."

Kurama groaned. —I'll chop YOUR head.—

"It was my best friend, Kurama . . . and it disappeared when I became a human. Along with my cloak. I miss Head Chopper."

—Suck it up.— Aloud, he said, "Well, why don't you go to sleep and DREAM about your katana?"

"Head Chopper."

"Whatever."

There was another pause. Kurama began to dream—

"I'm not sleepy."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

"You're going to wake your mother up. You know that?"

"Darn . . . you . . ."

********

{The Next Morning}

Mrs. Minamino was making breakfast when the doorbell rang. She went to open it.

"Hello," said the boy standing there. "It's me, Hiei."

********

Ethelflaed: Evil eeeeeeeeeeendiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing . . .

Mouself: (snicker snicker snicker snicker snicker snicker snicker snicker glomp)

Ethelflaed: (still falling down cliff) I WILL SAVE YOOOOOOOOOU, KURAMA! MWROW!!

Kurama: -.-;;;;;;;;

Ethelflaed: (magically grows wings, grabs Kurama, takes him back to Ficcy-land)

Mouself: Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings! (snicker hug snicker)

Hiei: (plotting Mouself's death sentence)

Mouself: (telepathically) That's a good idea! No, not that one! That one! Yeah!

Hiei: O_O

Mouself: (snicker)

Ethelflaed: (dragging Kurama) I will hug you and cuddle you and you will be my Kurama-kun!

Kurama: @.@ WaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa . . .

Kid #1: (walks up) ^___________________^ You're right! It was realistic! It was like a gory movie!

Everyone Else But the Kids: O______________________O

Kid #1: (walks off with suspiciously stained axe, whistling)

Ethelflaed: Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasty. Reviews . . .

Wizardess Gal: Mooo . . . Mouself says Tsukemono (pickled vegetables). Yes, he does hate it. Mwahahahahahaha . . . we are updating as quickly as possible. (NO MOUSELF I WILL NOT WRITE "QUICK AS MOO!!!!!!"

Mouself: Tsukemonoooooooo)

Wld Winged Wolf: Not on Hiei's part . . . (Mouself: It was . . . EVIL PSCYCHO—

Ethelflaed: DON'T GIVE AWAY THE PLOT YOU MORON!!!!!!!

Mouself: Tsukemono . . . V.V)

B/k: Mouself's weird and very strange friend likes Karasu. Personally, Karasu has to diiiie . . . ^_______^ I sorta watch Pokèmon . . . (Mouself: Wabba wabba wabba wabba wabbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaffet.) But I am too mixed up because of Kid's WB's refusal to play ANYTHING in the correct order!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Mouself: Waaaaaaaaaaabbafet! Why? Why not! Pika! Jiggly! 

Ethelflaed: SHUT UP!

Mouself: . Char char!)

Kittengrl39: Well, don't worry, because soon these will be going one month at time. Because—(Mouself: And _who was talking about giving away the plot??)_


End file.
